Always Smiling, Always Hidden
This painting and those following are later stage extensions of this painting series.
As my wounds began to heal over, I found myself putting on a cheery face but not feeling like it was mine. The emotional rollercoaster I had been on for the past few years left me feeling psychologically exhausted. I found myself confused as to who “I” really was. Was I only a “survivor”, formed from the mold of what had been done to me? Or was I someone else – someone who I could now form into something of my own making? More likely, I was something in between.
That’s why in this artwork, I used a ceramic mask – an object made by someone else – to create an artwork of my own intent. Beneath the mask is a blurred, grainy photo of my face, which can’t be seen except upon close inspection and with adequate light.
That’s how I was feeling – the real “me” was fuzzy and lurking somewhere in the darkness behind the face I put on for the rest of the world to see.
Close up shot to show the face hidden:
Abuse Series Index
- Introduction
- Schizophrenia
- Cataclysm
- Anti-Social Behavior
- I'm Afraid
- Nightmares
- Feeding Frenzy
- Betrayal
- I was Innocent
- Pain & Isolation
- Hurt Hate
- Grandpa, Why was I Sacrificed for You?
- Childhood Broken
- Before & After
- Broken Toy Broken Child
- Struggling to Emerge
- You Made the Colors of My World Bleed
- Genesis
- Blossom
- Still Some Garbage But It's Getting Better
- Blue Angel - Reclaiming My Childhood
- Always Smiling, Always Hidden
- The Premonition Had a Relapse
- The Premonition Dreamt It was a Child
- Chrysalis
- Recollections
- Sanctuary
- Conclusion